Binding ties, p.1
Binding Ties, page 1
Contents
Series Information
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Acknowledgments
Other Silverbell Shore Books
About the Author
Also by Zoey Drake
Binding Ties
Copyright © 2023 by Zoey Drake All rights reserved.
All rights reserved worldwide.
No part of this book may be reproduced, copied or transmitted in any medium, whether electronic, internet or otherwise, without the expressed permission of the author. This is a work of fiction. All characters, events, locations, and names occurring in this book are the product of the author’s imagination or are the property of their respective owners and are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual events, locations, or persons (living or dead), is entirely coincidental and not intended by the author. All trademarks and trade names are used in a fictitious manner and are in no way endorsed by or an endorsement of their respective owners.
Front cover image by Alexandra Silva
Book Formatting by LJDesigns.
Edited by Melissa Smith
First printing edition 2023
www.silverbellshore.com
Series Information
Silverbell Shore is a (fictional) town on the East-Atlantic coast where the sea meets the rolling hills. Founded shortly after the Civil War as a fisherman’s town, it’s home to billionaires with private beaches, hotels and country clubs. As well as your everyday person—doctors, cops, EMTs, firefighters, farmers, teachers, students, etc.
Whether you’re sunshine or grumpy, light or dark, the seemingly quiet and quaint town of Silverbell Shore welcomes you and all your deepest, darkest, forbidden secrets.
I would like to dedicate this book to:
Those who believe in true love.
To those who aren't afraid to fight for what they want even when the going gets tough.
To those who live every day like their last because you never know when that day may come.
To those who don't lose faith easily and love hard.
To those who open themselves up to others even though people constantly let you down.
To those who love stories about second chance loves, secrets, and small town life!
I see you and I appreciate each and every one of you!
Cheers, xo!
Chapter One
The day Julian Ace McCormick walked out of my life, I was certain I’d never see the likes of him again. He’d always been destined for greatness, and I wouldn’t be the one who kept him from his dreams.
What was that old phrase? If you love something, set it free. Well, that’s exactly what I did and ended up breaking my own damn heart in the process. Some people say you never really get over your first true love, and I can attest to that… a part of him still lived with me, and I’d never forget it.
Now, five years later, he’s stood before me again… sure, he’s a little shorter at three and a half feet tall, not as muscular, either, but just as handsome as the man who helped me give him life. We made such a cute damn kid. The thought had me grinning like a kid on Christmas when they saw the mass of presents under the tree as I recall the same look Ben is giving me right now on Julian’s face.
“Mama…” A few quiet seconds ticked by…. “Mama?” His sweet voice trickled into my ears again. This time, there was inflection in his tone. His little brow was furrowed in confusion. I’m sure he doesn’t understand. I wish I could explain it in a way he would, but I also don’t. He doesn’t need to deal with my baggage of emotions.
I cleared my throat and tried to bring myself back to the present. “Yes, baby?”
His little mouth pinched as he cocked his head in question. “Why ya always look so sad? Somebody hurt your feelings?”
I tried to silently suck back the snot threatening to reveal itself to the world. Ugh. Why is this so hard? “Oh, I’m not sad, Benji. Mama just got something stuck in her eye.”
He bit his bottom lip as his brow furrowed. “You say lying is bad.”
It was crazy how kids were always the best lie detectors.
“I know, baby.” I said, ruffling my fingers through his soft brown hair. Little arms wrapped around my leg and squeezed. I sniffled, unable to help the feelings pouring through me. Most days, I was fine. I was happy. I loved my little boy and this life we’d created together.
But some days… I couldn’t help but look back and remember the past and how things used to be. How things were when I was with his father.
I wiped away the tears so they couldn’t fall before squatting down to look in his eyes, “You hungry, buddy?”
A grin widened his little cheeks as he responded. “Umm huh.”
I clapped my hands together and smiled. “All right, let’s make some breakfast. Any requests?”
“Pancakes?” He asked softly. “And bacon?” I couldn’t help but smile.
“Absolutely, bud. Wanna help?” He nodded and started to follow behind me with soft feet before slipping his small, warm hand into mine.
When we got to the kitchen, he pushed a chair over beside the stove and climbed on so he could watch me pour the pancake batter. The twinkle of excitement in his eyes always stole my breath away. To be young and that innocent again. I never want him to lose that spark; that joy he gets from the simplest things.
We both ate, and then I took Ben to get washed up and dressed for the day. A typical Saturday in Silverbell Shore. Later today we’d go to the park or out with my dad on the boat, both things followed up by a stop at Village Parlour Ice Cream Treats.
I set Benjamin up in the living room in front of the TV so I could finish cleaning up from breakfast, and he watched Saturday morning cartoons. His laugh I could never get enough of. He didn’t always get to watch them because I preferred him to play outside, but some days it was a treat.
As I watched the happiness on his face, a ribbon of contentment twirled inside me.
Strolling back into the kitchen, I poured myself another cup of coffee. I would need the liquid fortification to keep up with a five year old today. Last night was another restless night of tossing and turning; like most nights. I drew the coffee mug to my nose and closed my eyes as I deeply inhaled the smell of caramel and nuts. My world would simply implode without coffee. Okay, maybe that was a tad dramatic. Sighing, I set down my mug and got to cleaning up.
Today made six years since he left me; since I decided I couldn’t hold him back.
I’d never stopped following his career. He was a big shot champion Indy car driver, and I couldn’t have been more proud of him, but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt. He looked content, always a vast assortment of women lined up to be his arm candy when needed. It was as if he didn’t even remember me. Life in the fast lane was way out of my league. I’d always be this small town girl. Silverbell Shore was a part of me. I’m a part of it, and I can’t imagine my life any other way.
I shook off the melancholy. No time to wallow in the memories. We had things to do; like go to the grocery store and do laundry. Hooray for stinky little boy underwear and folding multiple loads of clothes. How does one little boy produce so much laundry? I chuckled under my breath. The joys of adulting, right here.
I turned, and my eyes drifted to the living room where little giggles erupted from the couch. I had just finished putting the last plate in the dishwasher with a clang when there was a knock on the front door. Benjamin popped up from the couch, ran to the door barefoot, and I followed him.
“Benji… wait a minute.” I said firmly, pulling him back so I could look through the peephole first. My parents stood on the porch speaking animatedly with each other; Dad was so much taller than Mom. They both sported silver speckled hair which was the only thing that gave away their age. Papa had kind gray blue eyes, while Mama had jade green, both differing from my own. They were also still that couple; the ones who made you feel awkward when they displayed PDA publicly. Him cutely pinching her butt in public just made me want to hurl and still gave me nightmares, but when they walked anywhere down the beach or across town, they held hands like, somehow, if they let go, one or the other would be lost forever. It was sweet. A smile slipped across my face before my eyes found my little boy.
“Okay… go ahead and answer it.” I whispered to Ben.
A look of glee crossed his face before he grabbed the handle and started to turn it. “Nana and Pawpaw.” He exclaimed with as much enthusiasm as he could muster. He stepped out onto the porch with them.
“Ben, you need shoes to go outside, buddy. We’ve talked about this.” I scolded him lightly.
“Honey, it’s fine. It’s only for a few minutes.” Papa winked at me like he always used to do when I was a kid.
“Mornin’, my handsome little man.” Mama leaned down and ruffled the dark hair that had tipped me into nostalgia earlier today before placing a quick kiss on his cheek.
She stood back up and leaned into me for a hug as I stood in the doorway. “Hey.” Her eyes held a hint of concern like always. I shook it off. “Come on in.” I opened th e door a little further and welcomed my parents in.
“How are you holding up today, sweetie?” She whispered meekly as we walked into the living room. I shook my head. I didn’t want to talk about him. All it did was tear open my heart a little wider.
“I wish you’d stop asking. I’m fine. We’re fine.” She nodded, biting her tongue even though I could tell she wanted to say more. I didn’t mean to come off as snappy, but every year on this day it was the same thing. They’d come over, and she’d ask how I was doing like somehow it had changed from the year before.
“Benji, Pawpaw brought you something.” Mama says, pointing at my father, who stood holding up a present wrapped in light blue wrapping paper.
“Hey, lil’ man.” He squatted down and handed over the gift.
“Dad…,” I reprimanded. He always did this; went about spoiling Ben. Papa looked up at me from his squatted position on the floor, a goofy grin spread on his face. “Annagayle Marie Rafferty, if I want to buy my grandson things, I am going to buy my grandson things, and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it.” He said it resolutely in a tone that didn’t barter feedback.
Benjamin, beaming as big as his little lips would allow, ran to the couch and sat down with his treasure while we followed. He tore open the wrapping paper with the gusto of a dog with a rope toy. “No way…” I heard Ben whisper in wonder as the paper revealed his present. A new, bright green fishing pole set for kids is what he held before him.
Dad reached out and squeezed my son’s shoulder. “Yeah, bud. Now you can come fishing with me on the boat.”
I lifted my eyebrow when I caught his eyes. “What do you say to Pawpaw?”
A high pitched noise came from his lips as he threw his hands around Papa’s neck. “Thank you! Can we go and use ‘em today?” Blue eyes found mine as he turned to look at me. “Can we, Mama? Please, please, please.” He dropped to his knees on the floor with his hands clenched together tightly as he begged.
An hour later, we were heading to the marina. The dock rocked as we walked down it, and a cool breeze brushed against my shoulders as we passed the mass of boats on the way to Papa’s yacht. Papa’s got the cooler in his right hand and is holding Mama’s hand with his left. I wanted a love like theirs - steadfast, true, never faltering without making up.
I shook my head, hoping the silly feelings building up inside me would dissipate. It was only because of what today signified that I was so emotional.
The sun hitting the water before us made it shimmer, symbolizing a love that lasts as far and as wide as the ocean.
Infinity.
Never ending
Forever going strong.
It’s how you could always describe how long my parents' love will endure.
The boat rocked as I stepped up onto the deck from the dock. Papa picked up Benjamin and was lifting him into the boat as Mama stepped on behind me. Once everyone was seated and comfortable, Papa slipped behind the wheel and the engine growled to life beneath us. I pulled Ben over to me, slipping the life jacket over his head and securing it around his chest before applying sunscreen to his pale skin so he didn’t burn under the heat of the sun.
Again, those little eyebrows furrowed in question. “Mama, do I always need that much?”
“Yes, baby. It’s so you don’t burn and have ouchies afterward.” He bobbed his head as if my word was law.
The boat slowed to a stop about forty minutes after we left the marina. It dipped and bobbed in the water with each slight wave that hit it. When it fully stopped, Benjamin hopped up and ran over to Papa, excitement brimming on his little face.
Papa patted him on the shoulder. “Okay, tyke. You ready to try out that new fishing rod?”
“Yep!” Ben popped his lips on the “p” as he said it. I loved this little boy with all my heart. The smile formed on my face before I even realized it. Not that it was hard to believe. Benjamin had been my world since the first time I laid eyes on him. He’d been so small and handsome…
I sat back and watched my father teach my baby how to fish. “Give it a little more line, kiddo,” was quickly followed by, “Leave it out there and keep it still. You want to interest the fish so they come closer.”
His little tongue stuck out the corner of his mouth, and his brows contorted in concentration. I felt a hand on my arm and looked over to see Mama staring at me. I sighed. “Go ahead and say whatever it is you’re thinking.”
She was an observer, you see, always watching, and she could read me like a book. I swear some days she had eyes in the back of her head. “I’m just worried about you, hunny. You’re a fantastic mother, and you’ve got an amazing little guy there, but what about you? I can tell you’re lonely. Have you thought about dating or maybe moving on? I just want you to be happy again. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen that smile you always used to grace us with when you were a kid.”
“Well, I’m not that kid anymore. I have my own now, and he’s all that matters.” I said it harsher than I meant to, but every word was true.
“Look, Annagayle, I’m not saying to do anything permanent, I’m just asking you to have an open mind.” Knowing my Mama, this conversation wouldn’t end until I agreed.
“My main priority is Ben. If somewhere along the way I run into someone I want to go out with, so be it. But it’s not my goal. I don’t want to bring someone into his life unless I’m sure they’re going to stick around. I won’t do that to Ben. For heaven's sake, he still asks about his daddy and why he’s never come home to see us.”
Mama loved Julian. We’d been together for as long as I could remember - through fights, breakups, makeups, and everything in between. Like me, she was heartbroken when he left, but he needed to go. He’d been in love with cars, and there was rarely a day I wouldn’t find him under the hood of a car in his daddy’s shop.
Her eyes left me and drifted to Ben and Papa. “Have you heard about Luke?”
I canted my head, wondering why she was talking about Julian’s dad. “No, what’s going on?”
“Well, Sally, down at the grocery store said he isn’t doing well. Guess the shop’s been closed a few days during the week more than normal. Sally said Julian hired a live-in nurse to take care of him for the last month. Wonder what will happen with the shop if he passes.” My heart fluttered in my chest at the thought of Julian coming home. Would he come home? It’d been so long.
My chest constricted over what would happen if he did come back to Silverbell. My eyes immediately found Ben, and I bit my lip. Would I tell him about Ben? Would he find out? There wasn’t a single person in this town who didn’t know about him. Everyone had an idea that it was Julian’s child, and, honestly, I’m surprised word had never gotten back to him. I’m sure we were on the gossip grapevine when it came to Ben.
“Mama, Mama, Mama!” I heard his sweet voice amidst being lost in my own head over the thought of my first love coming home.
I heaved myself up from sitting beside Mama and walked over to the side of the boat where he was fishing, throwing my hands out to hold myself still as the boat tilted with the movement of the water. “What is it, baby?” I said, ruffling his hair.
“Dolphins, Mama. There’s dolphins out there. See!” He yelled, pointing, as one popped up to the surface. There was a whole pod of them frolicking in the boat's wake and jumping out of the water. We’d gotten lucky to see them. Most of the time, they were only seen in the early morning hours or later in the evening, avoiding the majority of the daytime. What did they do all day long? I pondered.
At the same time the dolphins were distracting us, Ben’s fishing rod started to take the line out. “I got a fish!” He jumped in glee, almost dropping his pole, a wide smile brimming on his face. “Pawpaw, look!”
Oh, to be young again, to see everything as a new marvel to explore. It was sweet to see his enthusiasm. He hadn’t been tainted by the world yet. I hoped he never got jaded.
